Twitchy Eyebrow

Well today was a normal day... I realised why I love Charlotte so much, why I despise Tom Tew so much and why Searly freaks me out so much!!! Pretty normal then!

Get a hair cut...

Curly Nige has trimmed his mane... Hilarious!

Image Change

As you may have noticed in my bored state I have updated the face of my blog. Althoughat this point I don't hate the male race, I thought a more girly image - pink - would suit this blog. If you object however it will be returned to normal very quickly...

Depressed

THIS IS SO SHIT... I have now spent over two days typing history and english coursework. If I ever hesr the words Romeo, Juliet or 1960s again I will throw myself off a cliff.

AMAZING BLOG!!!

http://chewblog.blogspot.com/
I stumbled apon this blog while avoiding my English Cousework, it has some amazing pictures on it!!!

More Darcy

Darcy, Darcy, Darcy (Obsessed moi?)

Half Term Homework Blues

This is so crap... It's wednesday. I have been putting off my homework set for the halfterm all last week and now realisedthat Iprobably need to do some or I won't get it finished!
I have

1. History Coursework
2. English Coursework
3. R&P Homework
4. Food Coursework
5. Art Coursework

And a load more that I can't remember!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Come save me, Mr Darcy

More Mr Darcy... Swoon

OK... So they are a bit blurry, but it made me cry buckets and I wouldn't say no after all he did. He may of been a bastard, but a nice bastard in the end...Infact I just wouldn't say no!!!

Oh, Where is my Mr Darcy

After spending a very boring week in Devon, with a wanna-be stuck up fuckwit (I almost killed her) I got to go to the cinema!! But going with my mother has it's problems... I went to see Pride and Predjudice, and although I'm a very cultured 16 year old, I thought it would be very very dull... HOWEVER I was very much mistaken as it made me cry for the last 15 minutes, and then it took 5 minutes to compose myself after... If you haven't seen it I advise you to go and see it.
Oh if only I had a Mr Darcy... Wouldn't mind the house he had either!

Ewww...

One year at the Heinz catsup factory, they had to raise the protein level on the back of the label because the tomatoes they used had worms

These are just copied and pasted... but some are quite amusing!!!

Useless Facts
Betty Boop is a red head. She appeared in her only colour cartoon, Cinderella, with red hair
In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is "Yensid" (Disney backward.)
In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy's last name is Gail. It is shown on the mailbox.
The stop-motion puppet for King Kong was covered with rabbit fur
Red Dawn was the first movie to have a PG13 rating
"Jaws" is the first movie ever to make over 100 million dollars
In The Empire Strikes Back there is a potato hidden in the asteroid field
In Return of the Jedi there is a tennis shoe hidden among the rebel fleet
There are Star Wars ships hidden in Star Trek: First Contact, Space Balls, and Independence Day among others
In Raiders of the Lost Ark there is a wall carving of R2-D2 and C-3P0 behind the ark
Walt Disney holds the world record for the most Academy Awards won by one person, he has won twenty statuettes, and twelve other plaques and certificates
There is a statuette of R2-D2 attached to the model of the mother-ship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind and on the Borg ship on Star Trek: The Next Generation
The eye pieces on the Borg in Star Trek: First Contact, flash in Morse code, spelling out the names of several members of the production team
James Bond's car had three different license plates in Goldfinger
Gary Cooper was the first Academy Award winner for best actor to make his acceptance speech on television
101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Hercules and Mulan are the only Disney movies where both parents are present and don't die by the end of the movie
Paul McCartney purchased the rights to the Happy Birthday song we all know, so if you want to use it in a production, you have to pay him royalty fees
Cheech and Chong were awarded the first Bronze Taco, on July 24 1984
Humphery Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca
Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty"
Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
Gone With the Wind had the working titles Tote the Weary Load and Ba! Ba! Black Sheep
The Brothers Grimm wrote 211 fairy tales
It used to be illegal to swim by daylight
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
The original story from Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy."
William Shakespeare claimed that honorificabilitudinitatibus was the longest word used in any of his plays
The two longest one-syllable words in the English language are "screeched" and "strengths."
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"I" is the most spoken word in the English language
"You" is the second most spoken English word
"O" is considered to be the oldest vowel in the English language
The letter W is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't have 1 syllable... it has three.
Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village"
Canada makes up 6.67 percent of the Earth's land area
Alberta is home to Canada's largest Ukrainian Easter egg
The fastest broadcaster in history is Canadian Gerry Wilmont, from Victoria B.C. He was a hockey commentator
A Canadian invented the paint roller
A Canadian was the creator of "Superman"
Canada is home to the International Federation of Bodybuilders
Nova Scotia boasts Sober Island, 30 miles from Wine Harbor
New Brunswick is the lobster capital of the world
15 percent of Americans secretly bite their toenails
Deborah Ann Fountain, the 1981 Miss New York State, was disqualified from the Miss U.S.A pageant for padding her bathing suit
The only two bald Presidents were Martin Van Buren and Dwight D. Eisenhower
In a speech made in 1961, John F. Kennedy was recorded as speaking at 327 words per minute, the fastest in public history

Donald

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Anal fish fetish... NO IT'S NOT TOM

Only in America... It seems that this guy had been experimenting with an unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification - namely, by inserting a live fish into his butt. What he hadn't counted on was the fish's scales acting, in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture your tyres if you try to go the other way. In his pain and panic, he dialed 911. The EMT arrived, surveyed the situation, and said, "Son, you gotta learn to chew your food better."

Me... Get pissy... NAAAAAAAAAAAA

Science, period one... El Dorkio is hloding court at my end of the table... PRICK. I mention going home at 1.30 and he asks why. I say about going to the hospital ETC, having muscles of a 12 year old (but they have grown... YAY!) he says surley that's dangerous and I say yes thats why I'm going. Then he shouts OK THERE IS NO NEED TO GET IN A PISSY WITH ME... The fact of the matter is I wouldn't mind him saying this if I had actually got in a pissy with him!!!

so blurry

Everything?s so blurryAnd everyone's so fakeAnd everybody?s emptyAnd everything is so messed upPre-occupied without youI cannot live at allMy whole world surrounds youI stumble then I crawlYou could be my someoneYou could be my sceneYou know that I?ll protect youFrom all of the obsceneI wonder what you're doingImagine where you areThere?s oceans in between usBut that?s not very farCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?This pain you gave to meCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?Everyone is changingThere?s no one left that?s realSo make up your own endingAnd let me know just how you feel'Cause I am lost without youI cannot live at allMy whole world surrounds youI stumble then I crawlYou could be my someoneYou could be my sceneYou know that I will save youFrom all of the uncleanI wonder what you're doingI wonder where you areThere?s oceans in between usBut that?s not very farCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?This pain you gave to meCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?This pain you gave to meOh, Nobody told me what you thoughtNobody told me what to sayEveryone showed you where to turnTold you where to run awayNobody told you where to hideNobody told you what to sayEveryone showed you where to turnShowed you where to run awayCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?This pain you gave to meCan you take it all away?Can you take it all away?When ya shoved it in my face?This pain you gave to meNo, this pain you gave to meTake it all awayTake it all awayPain ya gave to meTake it all awayThis pain you gave to meTake it all awayThis pain you gave to me

Well...

Walked away, heard them say
"Poison hearts will never change, walk away again"
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within
It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky
When you're staring at the cracks
It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered
You... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again"
All the cracks will lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart
As I... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change"
Walked away again
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within

2.45 blues

Oh thank god... Only 15 minutes till I can climb aboard myrtle and dissapear into the sunset... Well not quite. But is it just me or do the last 15 minutes of the day take fucking ages to go... especially when Monsoir Mansking is taking the lesson... OH MY GOD... IT'S 2.46... 14minutes to go

Updates...

Why does Mr Owen refer to triognometry as trig... From now on we will call it trigo
Tom Tew will now be refered to as that boy, dork, dorkio and fuckwit... If you are posting about him please refer to him as one of these. Thanks
Mr Owen also can't talk properly... ickle now means little ETC... (Get it right you ginger eyebrowed fatty!!!)

{FUMES MORE}

I REALLY DON'T GET THAT PRICK... He blanks me all morning and makes meaningless points about my coursework (and least I did it you FUCKWIT) then ingmores me until maths, where when I ask Mr Owen a question FUCKWIT answers... Are you that desperate to talk to me... Then during SST he keeps looking at me, and mouthing how he will offer me his services...
FUCKING COCK SUCKING MONKEY WANKING FUCKWIT

{FUMES}

TOM TEW IS SUCH A WANKER AFTER HE APOLOGIES TO ME FOR BEING A COCK AND SAYING HE HAS FEELINGS HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM BECAUSE I GOT OFF WITH BEN. APPARENTLY HE CAN'T HANDLE THE FACT MY LIFE DOESN'T EXIST AROUND HIM IS A BIT OF A BLOW FOR HIM. WHEN I POINTED OUT THAT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN HE WAS VERY HAPPY AND CHEERED UP, BUT THEN I HAD A TEXT FROM HIM AND HE GOT ALL PISSY AGAIN... AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHY MUST THAT BOY (AND THAT'S ALL HE WILL BE NO MATTER HOW LARGE HIS PENIS IS) BE SUCH A CHILDISH FUCKWIT?????? WHY CAN'T HE EXCEPT THAT I'M NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM AND THAT HE ISN'T THE ONLY PERSON I CAN PULL... THERE IS A REASON WHY I WOULDN'T GET OFF WITH YOU ON CITIZENSHIP DAY YOU ARSEHOLE... HE HAS PUT ME IN SUCH A BAD MOOD THAT WHEN BEN RANG I GOT REALLY STRESSY WITH HIM, THEN APOLOGISTS AND TOLD HIM ABOUT TOM AND WHAT A PRICK HE IS, AND HE UNDERSTOOD (arrr, sophisticated...) BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. HE DOESN'T GET THE FACT THAT I DON'T LIKE HIM THAT WAY. AT THIS POINT IN TIME I DON'T LIKE HIM ANYWAY, BUT I NORMALLY LIKE HIM AS A FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE BUT AT THE MOMENT I'M NOT TO SURE. HE HAD TWO CHANCES WITH ME AND BOTH TIMES HE TREATED ME LIKE SHIT, I'M NOT GOING TO LET THAT COCK SCREW THINGS UP FOR ME ANYMORE... (oh bugger... I'm steaming from the ears again, and my fingers are sore from bashing the keyboard in a blind rage... COCKHEAD)

Ben 'the hardcore 1930's drummer' reynolds

Ahhh. Now Master Tew is not the only drummer I have swapped spit with.
Mr Reynolds is now the second. Thanks Ben! He definatly has improved my taste for 1920's and 1930's jazz!!! (And that was just the concert... the encore he gave me in the dressing room was even better!!!!)

Ten Things I Hate About You... Teacher Addition

Ms King

1. Your skirts/dresses are way to short (i saw her gusset)
2. You break all school rules with your hair
3. You wear really bad shoes which clash with your outfit
4. You think your cool... Your not
5. Your an eco warrior, but you wear paul frank
6. Your so PC, but take the mick out of searly for being gay
7. You don't get that the townies HATE you and your subject
8. Your a hypocrite
9. You have some really cheesy tattoos
10. You have a really fat ARSE

Mr Gardener

1. You are really short
2. You puff your chest out when you shout at me
3. You look like Wally from 'Where's Wally'
4. Your shirts clash with your ties
5. Your assemblys are SHIT!!!!
6. Your married which means someone has had sex with you... Gross
7. You have man boobs
8. You always wear that red coat (a bit like Kathryn)
9. Your a hypocrite
10. Your best attribute is your uglyness

Mrs Gee

1. You are a mini Hitler
2. Your not that mini
3. You were tops with shoulder pads
4. You have a wardrobe from the 1980's
5. You are a bitch
6. You are facist
7. You run this school like you are Hitler, and the assistant heads are the SS
8. You keep the chavs (like carl) in school because they are clever
9. Your voice - ergh
10. Your haircut... need I say anymore

Miss Tremaine

1. Your voice
2. Your height
3. Your hair
4. Your face ofends me
5. Your manners
6. Your manners on the road
7. The way you do that looking down thing when you talk
8. When you shout you squeak
9. Your clothes
10. JUST YOU

Mr Kingsman "Afro Rat"

1. Your hair
2. Your voice
3. Your glasses
4. Your ratty face
5. You coach girl's hockey...
6. Your shell suits
7. You carry a somerfields bag everywhere
8. Your geography teacher look
9. Your voice when you shout (funny as...)
10. Your boring lessons

Funny facts

Formicophilia is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals... (*cough tom*)
One in three new dads in Britian have admitted to trying their partners breastmilk!!!
5,840 people with pillow related injuries checked into U.S. emergency rooms in 1992
Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain
Your ribs move about 5 million times a year
Canada imports approx. 822 Russian-made hockey sticks on an average day
Most toilets flush in E flat
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

weird facts

Did you in Taiwan the average condom is only 4.2 inches??? WEENER

Apology

In business today, period 6, Tom apoligised for being a cock!!!!!!!!! He also said he did have 'feelings' for me but wasn't sure how I felt about him... My response to this was. "Well earlier in the year I really liked you, then you were with Robin and I got over you. Then this term I've had mixed feelings, I like you but not enough to spread my legs for you" He just looked vacant. Then he took the piss out of me because yesterday in science I mentioned to Alan I would stay celibate till marriage. Then I remembered what a cock he is!

Stupid questions...

1. When you were younger and you picked your nose, did you think it was your brains?
2. Did you ever poo yourself in a supermarket?

I think I should shut up now!

Ten things I hate about you...

Alan Flurrey

1. Your ginger, but bleach it to cover it up... Then blames it on his shampoo
2. Has porn on his PSP
3. You own a PSP
4. Obssessed with breasts
5. Likes groping my breasts
6. When you got drunk you asked to sleep with me
7. Your friends with Tom Tew
8. You bitch about your dad (it isn't nice - without him you wouldn't exist!)
9. You admitted to hearing your brother having sex
10. You own a stick insect that's pregnant

Carl Brown

1. Your a player
2. You really hurt Lauren
3. You couldn't make up your mind between Lauren and Chloe
4. You wear those stupid Nu Rock boots... They cost £180 for God's sake
5. You are a wannabe goth
6. You don't know how to wear eyeliner
7. When you do wear eyeliner, it makes your pigmant problem worse
8. Your short
9. Your response to everything is "Cock it"
10. You told Lauren you would never leave her... then finished with her on her birthday two days later

Sam 'Jim' Harris

1. You are a stoner
2. You have a hot brother (It's a very valid reason to hate about someone!)
3. You called me a fat slag when we told Mrs French about the alcohol
4. You are throwing away your intelligence
5. You broke Lauren's heart
6. You really hurt Lily
7. You have bad acne
8. You don't wash
9. You hang round with Toby, who hates me
10. Your a man whoar

Amazing depression...

http://amazingdepression.blogspot.com/

Again go there or die...

Things to do when you get dumped...

1. Eat Chocolate
2. Bitch
3. Eat chips
4. OK then... Just eat
5. Have a ritual burning of everything he/she ever gave you
6. Eat a bit more
7. Buy a vibrator and find out how much pleasure he could have given you
8. Become bisexual
9. Have long baths
10. Get stupidly drunk
11. Invest in drugs and sell them to teenagers
12. Get a toy boy (in my case a five year old)

OR JUST BECOME A SEXUAL AND PROCREATE BY YOURSELF

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If you like his body and you think he's sexy...

... Your either blind, gay (no offence Searle), desperate ETC

Charlotte's sexy curly hair

Don't you just love it. If only all body hair could look like it!

There's something about Penny

I have discovered that I have amazing feelings for Penny Munn.
She is so sexy. I think everyone is hiding their feelings for here.
Penny Munn has got it going on, She's all I want and I've been waiting so long, Oh just can't you see no one else is for me, I know it may be wrong, But I'm in love with Penny Munn!
Words by Penny Munn!!!!

LIVE JOURNAL

I also have a live journal account... I'm cowpat_hat

OK Then... I'm not really a bunny boiler!

I was just pissed off with male race (except the gays!) when I set up this blog. I'm not a bunny boiler. Not really. I just tend to have feelings for complete wankers! (*cough* *tom*)

It's a Sad Sad world...

It's a Sad Sad world...

This is the blog of one of my best friends... Visit it or die

My moan about... Thomas Phillip Tew

At this point in time I hate this teenage male because

1. He uses crap excuses like the ones in my list
2. No matter what he says... the hair does look like lauren from behind
3. He insults and hates some of my best friends
4. He uses you, builds your hopes up and them claims he was only there for the nookie
5. When you say no he sulks
6. He says mean things about his ex girlfriends
7. He lies about how far he has been
8. He always dumps by text (probably why I hate it...)
9. When he dumpd he puts things like "It's over because I have better things to do with my life" (Gee, Thanks)
10. He's crude
11. He's sex obsessed
12. He takes the piss out of my religion, but will happily shout at his friends for being racist ETC
13. He insults my family
14. He drops his best friends when he wants something from you
15. He always goes on about the size of his penis (I know it is huge, but no one likes a gloater!)
16. He insults your music taste if it isn't the same as his
17. He says things like "I like you, but not enough to want you"
18. He contradicts himself by saying "I'd only have sex with someone I love" "I'd have sex with you Hattie"
19. He downloads FREE porn off of the internet then brags about it
20. He tries to do stuff with you at the most inappropiate moments, like maths!

CRAP EXCUSES GUYS GIVE

1. I don't want to hurt you
2. It's not you it's me
3. I still like someone else
4. Things have changed since the begining
5. I don't want commitment/a serious relationship
6. It was only a bit of fun

Feel free to add others...

Why I hate Text messages and letters

ARRGH!!!! Don't you just hate it when a guy you are quite intrested in, tells you he has feelings for you, then changes his mind later in the day and does the whole "I don't want you to get hurt thing!" The only way you are going to hurt me is if you have a thirty inch penis your either going to shove down my throat or in my fanny which I doubt you will because if I gave you a chance to do it you would run a mile. (Fumes live crazy) But being dumped by text messages or letters are probably the worst types... thats why i hate them!